sand pollution



walked out immediately after jon leguizamo showed up solely to speak spanish to latinos and at the time it just felt gross and tropey and every latino speaks spanish etc but was i just missing a bigger joke?


i walked out on Chef? i walked out on chef SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT I AM MISSING ABOUT CHEF SERIOUSLY THIS FEELS LIKE A TWILIGHT ZONE EPISODE


"I don’t think you hate the audience. You delight them, but there’s this kind of thing you do with your face and your body language, and it’s kind of - you go over and bang at the piano for two seconds, and it’s jarring; and you don’t really care if they’re keeping up. You demand that they keep up. But there is this kind of look on your face where… I don’t know what it is. It could look like you don’t like the audience, or that you don’t like comedy. It’s almost like a guy who looks like he’s been possessed by comedy, and that’s how the demon plays around with you."   — Pete Holmes to Bo Burnham (©)



buttwyatt:

jenny slate is the goal


i journaled about the plot of the movie liar liar in third grade


spent most of the evening reading journals of mine from age 5 to 9 and not so surprisingly found that most of what i did in my free time was watch tv 

also found a drawing of a hand where the fingers all look like dicks


"

You go on WTF, and the host is like ‘Why should I care about you?’ Then you go on The Nerdist, the host is like ‘I care about you too much.’ Then you come here, and the host isn’t aware of what’s happening at all, or who the person is, and all he wants to do is wait for you to say the words ‘my wife.’

"  - Paul F. Tompkins, Comedy Bang Bang Best of 2013 Part 3 (via jrnny)